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ON BLOGGING AND BOOKSTAGRAM
I always wanted to start a blog. Part of me imagined it would be some sort of instant hit with thousands of readers. I hoped it would become the main way I share my writing with the world. I had so much to say and I wanted to share it with everyone!
But then I got older and realized how those goals have changed. The world is bursting with people just wanting to be heard! Inventing, and even buying, new platforms just to feel like they have a bit of control. It’s so hard to satisfy everyone and as a result it feels so easy to inadvertently say the wrong thing .
Where I once craved to be heard, I now fear being seen too much. As an autistic person one of my greatest fears is to be misunderstood or taken out of context. Subtext is for stories, not conversations, and I’ve never enjoyed how saying one thing leads to people thinking you must actually believe something else. This fishbowl we allow ourselves to live in has changed what it means to be known by others.
I think that is part of the problem. It’s why I’ve had such a difficult time writing here or posting to Instagram. I want to be changeable, not locked down to a certain aesthetic or opinion. I want to be able to change my opinions and grow, and the internet is a place where it’s nearly impossible to change without masses of people having an opinion on it.
That’s not to say some opinions aren’t just plain wrong or bad or harmful. But witnessing the development of callout culture leaves even those of us with the best intentions feeling observed and judged. No one likes to be misinterpreted. Do you know what I mean?
Every year I learn a little more about myself and uncover a new little thing that I want to achieve. When it comes to this website and bookstagram I think what I really want is the ability to change. I hold myself back because I think I need to keep to a particular format or topic. I can’t venture off the path for fear of not being allowed back. I want to post about the little things that interest me even if they go against the theme. Sharing videogames, books outside my usual genre, insights into the library world.
This year I’m going to try that. I’m going to write for myself. Share the things that really touched me. My own wanderings.
I’m not going to say “I hope you join me” because that goes against what this is. If I accomplish my goal, I’ll be writing for myself and finding joy in that alone. And I’m excited.
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Book Review: IN DARKNESS AND DANK (MONSTERS & MAYHEM)

Author: K.L. Hiers
Genre/s and tags: monster romance, mm romance, paranormal, erotica
Rep: Gay, Asian American
Publication date: September 30, 2022
Content Warnings: racism, gun violenceSynopsis

Kittisak Amarin is not a scientist—he’s barely a student, but he joined his college professor’s research team for an expedition into the Amazon as a last ditch effort to pass his biology course. His professor thinks they’re going to discover a new species out here, but Kittisak is more worried about being eaten alive by giant mosquitoes and staying awake while the team studies test tubes of dirty water.
When he sees a fantastic amphibian creature watching over him one night, he thinks it’s just a dream.Until it comes back.
A fatal misunderstanding leaves Kittisak wounded and unable to flee once the creature has taken him prisoner. As the creature nurses him back to health and shows him the wonders of his mysterious jungle home, Kittisak has to confront his growing attraction to his enigmatic captor and his dwindling desire to escape. He begins to realize that the creature may not be the monster he appears to be…
And that even amongst darkness and dank, the sweetest romance can blossom.
In Darkness and Dank is an MM Horror Retelling of Creature from the Black Lagoon, as part of the collaboration Monsters & Mayhem: An MM Horror Collection, adapting some of your favorite classic horror stories with an MM romance twist.
Review
I was expecting something dark, I guess because it’s a retelling of the horror classic Creature from the Black Lagoon, but this was surprisingly sweet. Like near THE SEA MONSTER’S MATE levels of sweetness (but with more drama and less mpreg)!
Kittisak is in the Amazon for one reason only, to pass Biology. His professor is searching for a rare bacteria and has brought Kittisak along as his assistant. He’s miserable, but at least the grade boost means he won’t be letting his parents down by failing college. Soon things become downright scary when Kittisak gets between a river monster and the expedition’s trigger-happy a-hole. Next thing he knows he’s separated from the group and injured, but being cared for by the most handsome monster he’s ever met.
Kittisak was such a relatable character. The way he just assumes he’s having a sexy monster dream and is sad when the monster doesn’t try to jump his bones made me laugh! This isn’t necessarily a comedy, but I still laughed plenty of times during my readthrough.
Speaking of which, this isn’t horror either. Not in the slightest. So if that was a turn off for you or something you were hoping for, keep that in mind.
I loved that Shu spoke just enough English for them to be able to communicate, but not enough that the differences led to some cute moments. The whole meshing-of-worlds thing is always fun to read about. No major miscommunication, just little scenes where they take the time to understand each other. Those are my favorite!
The world-building was great for how short the book is. Kittisak got to learn a lot about Shu’s people and language. Even though I’m questioning how the fish people knew English. I can see them picking up a human language, sure, but English in the middle of the Amazon is pretty funny. Guess they get a lot of tourists. That would explain the blender…
Kittisak and Shu were damn near perfect together. Supportive and caring partners, as well as pretty fire in the bedroom!! If you’re a fan of unique biology in monster romances you’ll find some fun stuff here too. Not only is Shu’s description beautiful, but the description of his *ahem* fun parts are pretty interesting too. Naturally, Kittisak is very into it!
Point is, you’ll have fun here. This book is sweet with a good mix of romance, steam, and adventure.
Cover: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Writing: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Plot: ⭐⭐⭐.5 |
Characters: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Spice: 🌶️🌶️🌶️
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ALA Conference 2024: Live Blog (Updating)
San Diego | June 27 – July 2 | #ALAAC24 | ALAANUAL.ORG
UPDATE: I vastly overestimated what spare time I would have while attending ALA, haha. Give me a few more days and I’ll post a recap instead!
The American Library Association Annual Conference is the largest library event in the world! Library professionals, publishers, authors, vendors, and more gather to discuss best practices and education, current issues and legislature, new technologies, promote books, and network.
This year’s speakers range from writers like Trevor Noah to athletes like Maggie Nichols to actors Taraji P. Henson (Hidden Figures and The Color Purple) and Anika Noni Rose (Tiana in Disney’s The Princess and the Frog).
And of course, authors we know and love. Becky Albertalli, Veronica Roth, Darcie Little Badger, and a lot more but I’m running out of time so I might update this bit later!
This is my first time attending and I wanted to take you on this journey with me. I’ll update you when I can throughout the conference, you may also wish to check out my Instagram – @anxious.librarian – for updates in my stories.
Keep in mind this will not be a “professional” live blog. While I hope to provide a little insight into the library and publishing world along the way, I primarily want to document my own experience at the ALA Conference.
June 28th, Friday – Day 1
After a nearly four-hour drive from the Coachella Valley to San Diego, I finally arrived at my hotel in the Gaslamp District, just a stone’s throw away from the San Diego Convention Center where this year’s American Library Association Annual Conference & Exhibition is being held.
I am so excited! This is my first professional conference. There’s this feeling like I have to experience everything! But I also realize that given the size that is going to be near impossible.

An overcast morning. Perfect after leaving the heat of the desert. Other than the Opening General Session, I have no real plans today! It will be a good time to get familiar with the convention center, connect with some librarian friends traveling from other places, and settle into the conference. (And pick up some swag, I’m really excited about the swag!)
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Book Review: CONFETTI REALMS

Title: Confetti Realms
Author: Nadia Shamas
Genre/s and tags: YA, queer, graphic novel, mental health, fantasy
Publication date: October 17, 2023
Content Warnings: mention of sick parents, minor body horror (teeth)Synopsis

A group of teens are transported from a graveyard to another realm where they must collect teeth— and learn about themselves— in order to return home.
On Halloween night, when the moon is full, teenagers get up to mischief. But when an encounter with a giant, sentient puppet in a graveyard sends five teens to a mysterious dimension called the Confetti Realms, they must overcome obstacles in their
own friendships–and collect the debted teeth owed to the puppet–in order to make their way home. But the allure of staying in a fantasy world is a hard one to beat, and going home to their normal lives is starting to sound less and less appealing for some. Will these friends return home?
Review
It’s Halloween night and teens are being teens, hanging out in the cemetery, seeking the answer to the age old question…can ghosts get trashed on forties? But investigating one of the mausoleums leads to a terrifying discovery when the group is pulled into a place known as the Confetti Realms and are given until evening to complete a task or remain in the realm forever.
Now I’ve seen some comments downvoting this book for not being the “spooky read” people were hoping for and I personally see that as reader error rather than the author. This may not be horror, but it has a distinct unsettling, autumnal tone. In fact my biggest recommendation is for fans of OVER THE GARDEN WALL to pick this up. The tone is incredibly similar, as well as the art style, color pallet, and character designs.

I loved seeing the humanoid animals and the sheer detail that went into their creation. This world had a major amount of thought put into it! And the not clear distinction between animal and human provided so many opportunities for dark humor and the unexpected.So now that we’ve acknowledged that the tone here is less Halloween-y and more rustic / vintage fantasy, let’s discuss what the story is actually about. Our four main characters – Garrett, Ty, Marissa, and Radwa – each have something to face and will need to decide if working through it is possible or if the realm offers them a better chance.
At its heart CONFETTI REALMS is about life. The things we go through, how we respond, the ways our decisions impact others and ourselves. In this sense it was very thoughtful. I appreciated how not everyone’s private matters were repealed at once, instead it was a slow release that occurred as the stress built. The desire to learn about the tension between the characters helped keep the story moving without too many “but why??” questions for readers to get frustrated over.
Even those who seemed to be handling their unexpected situation well had something weighing them down. And as a side note, I want to add that I particularly loved Ty. I’ve been getting sick of flat, no effort nonbinary characters. Ty has character and dimension, frankly these kids would have been doomed without their cool head.
One thing I did not enjoy was the ambiguous ending. I’m reallyyy bad at interpreting endings. (To be honest I’m bad at interpretation in general; I did have some trouble figuring out exactly what some of the characters were dealing with too, although I did not discount their experiences just because I didn’t understand) I’ll say the final vibe was there, it felt like a nice conclusion, but like OVER THE GARDEN WALL I would have appreciated knowing what ultimately happened to the teens.
Overall, CONFETTI REALMS was a fantastical journey!
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ON 2024 GOALS AND OBLIGATIONS
[note from April 23: I freaking forgot to post this. I wrote it in January. Ugh.]
[note from June 14: and then I didn’t post after this because my cat went missing for a month, my friend, died, I got in a car accident, and just…life was not being kind to me. Ughhhhh.]I can’t be the only one who hates “Hi! It’s me again!” posts but here we are. Because it’s been six dang months. Not just six months since I posted, which was bad enough, but six months since I’ve read anything!
The motivation just wasn’t there and neither was my ability to focus. A combination of burnout and only recently diagnosed ADHD (AuDHD folx raise your hands!). I sampled books like nobody’s business – definitely contributing to my library’s nonfiction checkout stats 😅 – but I wasn’t finishing anything.
2023 was evidently not my year. Well, to be fair to myself it wasn’t my year for reading. In other aspects of my life I was forced to face some very difficult truths. 2023 was one of those years I wish I never had to experience but I needed to in order to move forward.
This year I plan to be more lax with myself regarding obligations I created for myself. As in, this blog, my bookstagram, my Goodreads and Storygraph. Last year I put too much pressure on myself and it led me to reading things I didn’t enjoy, hating what I wrote, and taking the joy out of the creative process.
For 2024 I have a very laid back posting schedule for myself. Not even a schedule really, just a goal of posting twice a month. I have a large backlog of content for when I burn out. Overall I feel this is a system that will work a lot better for me.
I hope each and every one of you is reading and or doing what you need to do in order to be happy at this moment in your life. Look forward to some upcoming content from me (scheduled to post in advance so you can accurately rely on it)!
See you in the stacks!
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Book Review: YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE TONIGHT

Author: Kalynn Bayron
Genre/s and tags: summer camp thriller, YA, queer, mystery
Rep: Black, lesbian, gay
Publication date: June 20, 2023
Content Warnings: blood, death, violence, visceraSynopsis

At Camp Mirror Lake, terror is the name of the game . . . but can you survive the night?
Charity Curtis has the summer job of her dreams, playing the “final girl” at Camp Mirror Lake. Guests pay to be scared in this full-contact terror game, as Charity and her summer crew recreate scenes from a classic slasher film, Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. The more realistic the fear, the better for business.
But the last weekend of the season, Charity’s co-workers begin disappearing. And when one ends up dead, Charity’s role as the final girl suddenly becomes all too real. If Charity and her girlfriend Bezi hope to survive the night, they’ll need figure out what this killer is after. Is there is more to the story of Mirror Lake and its dangerous past than Charity ever suspected?
Review
“Be careful,” she says. “You know what happens to Black folks in slasher movies.”
“I’m the final girl,” I say. “Guaranteed to survive the night.”Charity is working as the Final Girl at a full contact horror summer camp. Her job is to scare the pants off paying customers eager to experience the cult classic slasher flick The Curse of Camp Mirror Lake for themselves.
This is the first horror-thriller I’ve read in ages and I am so pleased with it! That killer cover pulled me in and the promise of a Final Girl summer camp scenario dragged me the rest of the way down into the dark.
Charity was great. I felt for her so many times over the course of the book. Her summer job, bloody as it is, is her one escape from a world that doesn’t seem to care much about what happens to her. Her friends and girlfriend bring a lot of light to her life, making it clear early on just how hard she’s going to fight to make sure they all get out of there safely.
She’s very self-aware and a horror movie stan making her a great final girl with a good chance of surviving the night.
The setup was great, all the little hints something is not going right at camp slowly building into something more sinister. The atmosphere was amazing. I felt the pressure of the pitch black woods, the sense of someone peeking over my shoulder as I read. Bayron did a fantastic job with this book!
It’s worth noting how YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE TONIGHT highlights the characters often victimized in horror films. The first people to die are always those of color or the queer kids. Not this time! This time the story is theirs.
As much as I enjoyed this, I do wish two things would have happened, however. One being that the thriller aspect started a bit earlier. I think I was at about 70% before anything started to actually happen. The book is already so short (I finished it in a day). Some pages dedicated to increasing the scares would have been fun.
And two, that the author had gone a bit harder on the scares and deaths.
Now I’ve been wondering if this specifically relates to the book being published as YA – like maybe there are restrictions I’m unaware of regarding killing off a bunch of teenagers – but still. By the end of the book [spoiler] nearly every single person is dead. But we get almost no on page kills, which has always felt like a big part of the slasher genre. Most of the deceased are never even seen, making the gruesome discovery aspect kind of moot as well.[end spoiler]
That being said, this actually makes YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE TONIGHT a great book for anyone who thinks they’re too squeamish for a slasher. There’s violence, but the gore is so minimal and so quick I think most people can handle it.
That last chapter and epilogue hit me like bam, bam, BAM! I did not see those twists coming! Like four big ones right at the end! Gosh, I just want to talk about it more but nothing is worse for a book like this than spoilers.
This is a thriller you don’t even have to wait for the spooky season to enjoy! What’s more summery than a summer camp? Definitely check out Kalynn Bayron’s YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DIE TONIGHT. It’s to die for.
Cover: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Writing: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Plot: ⭐⭐⭐.5 |
Characters: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ | Gore: 🔪🔪
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