Before I became a librarian I was a recent college grad who admittedly hadn’t read anything in years. My creative writing professor kind of killed my love of reading (being told that your preferred genre is crap for years will do that) and college itself isn’t exactly an environment that encourages reading for pleasure.
Still, a year later I was working my first library job and I was really enjoying myself! But the one question I had trouble answering was, “What books do you recommend?” I had no idea. I tried recommending the big-name authors, but I didn’t read their stuff and people who weren’t already fans had no interest in starting. I couldn’t recommend what I liked because I just didn’t know what I liked anymore.
After a particularly funny question asking for spicy summer reads was followed by one asking for gay romance (we had one ancient book) I realized two things. One, I had to find something that got me interested in reading again. And two, I had to start reading outside what I already knew.
I already had a feeling the things I loved as a teen wouldn’t work for me anymore. So I decided to take those two reference questions to heart, do some research, and read something I would recommend to those who’d asked.
CARRY ON by Rainbow Rowell
I decided to start with something we had in the library. Carry On had great reviews and was said to be hilarious, full of magic and romance. A chosen one who sucked at being the chosen one? That didn’t sound like the same reused YA plotlines I’d grown up with. I was more than a little intrigued.
After hesitating at the sheer size of this book, the glowing recommendations from my coworkers had me checking out.
I DEVOURED IT.
I can’t explain what it felt like to read something I actually enjoyed after so long. I finished the book in a day and at 522 pages that was no small feat! As silly as the story was, I couldn’t help getting invested. And what’s more, I found myself curious about a dynamic I’d never read about before. I’d never read a book with two men in a happy, loving relationship. Had never really seen them in media either. Unlike all the YA romances of the past, it didn’t make me cringe. It made me happy.
THE MAGPIE LORD by KJ Charles
After finishing Carry On I spent hours on Goodreads searching for the highest-rated gay and lesbian romance books.
I hadn’t read adult fiction before and wanted to make sure I picked something good. We didn’t have any of them, as many titles are independently or self-published, but I was eager enough that when I found something I liked, I went through my drawers and dusted off my old keyboard Kindle.
The Magpie Lord was near the top of every list, and since two of my favorite things to read are historical fiction and anything with magic, a book about a disgraced earl and sassy male witch solving a murder mystery sounded like a great place to start.
Going from Rowell to Charles was like splashing around in the kiddie pool before being thrown into the deep end. As in, I went from YA to full frontal steaminess and it was an experience! The Magpie Lord started strong and did not let up. Action, romance, mystery, sex. KJ Charles delivered!
Once again I was hooked. I didn’t realize a romance could make me feel so happy. A Charm of Magpies series not only helped me realize that romances were okay for me to enjoy, but rekindled another old love of mine. That of historical fiction.
WIDDERSHINS by Jordan L Hawk
I found myself back on Goodreads not long after finishing the magpie books. I wanted more of whatever magical experience I’d just had with KJ Charles. All I knew was I needed more action, more romance, everything a book could possibly give me. Thank god for the similar titles section because it led me to Jordan L Hawk.
The Whyborne and Griffin series might be my favorite of all time. I wanted a book that would give me everything and that is exactly what I found within the fictional town of Widdershins.
A fussy, lonely scholar teams up with a rakish ex-Pinkerton detective and rifle-wielding lady Egyptologist to protect the town from Lovecraftian horrors and evil men alike. Not only do these two men have an incredibly tender romance built on appreciation and love, but for the first time in years I felt truly seen by something I was reading.
Reading about Whyborne, his traumas, and insecurities, gave me permission to see those same things in myself. To stop being stoic and acknowledge the parts of me that were hurting. I saw pieces of myself in him and in all the other characters. That unexpected connection drew me further into the story.
More importantly, and what made me realize I’d rediscovered my love of reading, was the books made me want to be better.
As I read about these characters overcoming their struggles to find satisfaction and love I realized just how much I wanted that for myself. I wanted to live authentically and surround myself with people who would accept me. Coming to the conclusion that the circumstances of my past may have led me to this moment but that I can direct myself to a better future, is a gift I had never thought to give myself.
These three books, and the series that follow them, hold the stories that rekindled my love of reading. I found books that made me want to be a hero. Books that made me not care if people see me as other. That gave me permission to seek my own contentment.
I’ll be forever grateful to these stories and their authors as they’ve given me something I didn’t even know I was missing. Happiness.
Fictional Wanderings 